Is Anyone *Really* Excited About More Starlink Launches?
Okay, so SpaceX is gearing up to sling another 29 Starlink satellites into low Earth orbit. Mission 6-81, they're calling it. And ULA's throwing an Atlas V rocket into the mix with the ViaSat-3 Flight 2. Cool. Cool cool cool.
But let's be real, are we really supposed to be impressed? Another batch of satellites clogging up the sky, brought to you by the same companies that nickel and dime us for internet access? Give me a break.
The "Ultra-High-Capacity" Lie
ViaSat-3 F2 is being hyped as an "ultra-high-capacity broadband spacecraft." Right. That's PR speak for "we're gonna try to squeeze a little more bandwidth out of this thing so we can charge you even more next year." I mean, ultra-high-capacity compared to what? Carrier pigeons? My grandma's dial-up modem?
And don't even get me started on the launch itself. "A great show to those watching," the article says. Yeah, if you're into watching glorified fireworks displays paid for by venture capital and inflated stock prices. Personally, I'd rather watch paint dry – at least that doesn't contribute to the growing space junk problem.
SpaceX is planning at least eight of these launches before Thanksgiving. Eight! That's like... what, a cosmic Black Friday sale on satellites? And we're supposed to be grateful?
Weather Permitting, of Course
The weather forecast is "greater than 95 percent chance for favorable weather." Offcourse, it is. It's always a "greater than 95 percent chance" until it's suddenly not, and then the launch gets delayed, and we all act surprised. It's the same song and dance every time.
And B1094, the Falcon 9 booster making its fifth trip to space? Big deal. They stick a number on it and suddenly it's a hero? It's a freakin' reusable rocket, not a golden retriever saving kids from a burning building.
Speaking of which, what's the carbon footprint of all these launches? Are we even considering the environmental impact of turning the upper atmosphere into a giant satellite parking lot? Or are we too busy marveling at the "great show" to care?
I saw someone online mention how these launches might be visible as far away as Myrtle Beach or Philadelphia. So? We're polluting the night sky for the entire Eastern Seaboard so some rich guys can get richer. How is that a win for anyone? According to ULA Atlas V rocket launch in Florida may be visible in Georgia, South Carolina, the launch may be visible in other states as well.
Who Asked for This?
I'm starting to wonder if anyone even asked for all this. Did we, the consumers, rise up and demand more satellites? Or is this just another case of tech companies shoving their "innovations" down our throats whether we want them or not?
Maybe I'm just a grumpy old cynic shouting at the clouds. Maybe everyone else is genuinely thrilled about the prospect of slightly faster internet and a slightly brighter night sky. But honestly, I just see a whole lot of hype and very little substance.